Happy 18 months Baby Lila!!

My baby girl is 18 months today. After having a brief breakdown on Sunday about it, I am feeling so grateful that she is here and doing well on this occasion. I wish today that I could write all the things she loves, how mischievous and rowdie she is, what new words she has gained, and how busy we are running after her. But since that is not our lot in this life, I can say with all sincerity that I am so grateful that she is here, that she is blessing our home with her love and warmth. Other Vici Children have left their parents by now. How lucky we are that we have not yet had to say goodbye to our child. Lila has blessed us in so many ways, and I am sure that as the years pass we will realize just how much she has given us. Tonight, thinking of our experience with Lila I am reminded of a beloved poem by Robert Frost:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Thank you Little Miss for all you have given us!

Stealing Poppy.

Our niece Poppy came over the other night for a sleepover. During the holidays I told Poppy she was so cute I wanted to steal her. Much to my surprise she said OK. It took me back a bit. I said, but that means I get to keep you for forever. She said OK again. I laughed about it, but Poppy didn't forget. She kept asking me when I was coming over to steal her. We made a few plans to do so but kept getting sidetracked. Poppy kept telling her mom, Aunt Kristi keeps forgetting to steal me. So the other night she came over and the girls had a sleepover in our bed. We had a lot of fun, even if the mattress was too hard and the pillow smelled like Uncle Quinn's head. She kept us laughing all night.
If any other nieces or nephews want to be stolen we would be glad to oblige.....

Thank you to our anonymous friends

Thank you to our anonymous friends who dropped by a present for our little girl!! It was so touching and was just what I needed.
This evening an adorable little boy knocked on our door and handed me a gift bag that included this sweet little lion and this note : (I hope that they don't mind that I share, I would ask you if I knew who you were but I thought your gift was very inspiring)

Dear Quinn and Kristi,
You don't know us. We heard about you a couple of months ago through a friend of ours who was one of your nurses at St. Marks hospital when your sweet Lila was born. We read a little of your blog and you have been in our thoughts often since then.
Today, January 23 is the 2 year mark of the birth and passing of our little girl. She was born 18 weeks premature. She graced us with her spirit for a little more than an hour then peacefully passed away as we held her. It has been 2 years filled with tears and healing. As sad and awful as losing our angel was, all she needed was a body for her eternal progression; and we are honored to be part of this great process. At the time, we were as close to heaven as we will ever be. There are few people that have experienced that power. I'm sure you guys are two of those people.
In reading of and listening to others experiences with grief and loss concerning their children we came across the story of Ryan's lion. Ryan was a young infant about to undergo heart surgery. Somebody gave his parents a little stuffed lion to give them courage to get through the pain and fear of caring for their sick child. After the family's ordeal had ended they decided to pass the lion on to someone else who needed courage and strength. The lion has since been passed around to many people. We don't have the original Ryan's lion but we wanted to continue the lion's legacy for giving courage to others and do something special on our special daughters birthday.
Your baby girl is so sweet. We could feel it just looking at her pictures. May god bless you and give you courage in caring for your special angel, and know she will always be yours.

particularly cute Sunday outfit.

Lila got a lot of compliments on her outfit for church on Sunday so I thought I would capture it for my scrapbook.....

I thought I was doing pretty good this month, what with Lila turning 18 months and all, but at church they asked if Lila wanted to go to nursery since she is now on the rolls. It took me back a bit. How can my little one be old enough to go to Nursery? Every milestone is like a death in a way. You would think that I would be starting to get use to our different way of life but I am always surprised by just how painful it still can be.

Another sweet angel baby....

We got to hang out with our dear friends Eliza, Caroline and Nikki today. We LOVE these ladies so much. They inspire me to no end. Miss Eliza has MLD, a terrible genetic condition. She, like our little miss, knows how frustrating it is when your body doesn't work the way it is suppose to. She is an angel and has such an amazing spirit.
Her amazing Mom Nikki has been an incredible support to me and frankly is one of my hero's! She has handled all of life's trials with faith, patience and grace. She also has looked to reach out to others and has helped them to cope with their trials a bit more easily. Some day I hope to emulate her in some degree.
To say goodbye for the day I laid Lila next to Eliza and when their hands touched Little miss held on to Eliza's hand. I couldn't help to wonder what might be passing between these two perfect souls. I felt in awe by them. How amazing these two little angel babies are, far too perfect for this world.

If you want to find out more about Eliza, her amazing family and MLD click here

Missing her cousins

I think since we have been home Lila has been missing her Cousins attention. She has been talking and seeming to look around waiting for them to come talk to her. Today she was lucky enough to go spend some time back at the cousins house while Quinn and I went to a movie. THANK YOU!!!
Evie was so excited when we got there. She loves to hold Lila. When we were leaving she whispered to her mom, "Will you ask Kristi if we can keep her?" So sweet.

In a kissy mood..

One day on the trip little miss was in the kissiest mood. I LOVED it. She kept popping her head up and giving me loves, then later that night she was giving Kelli lots of love. It was so adorable.