Perfect ... Almost

Last night was one of those perfect nights. Ruby had decided that she no longer hated her brother, Eddie was snug in my arms and Quinn and Ruby danced to music and made houses out of blocks. It was so perfect until I realized it wasn't. I started to cry missing that one big piece. Ruby came to me and patted my hand and kept saying "it's ok mommy. You ok mommy?" I wonder how many times I will be so happy with my children and my life and  then break down because we aren't all together.  Quinn and I keep talking about how complete we would feel if Lila was here. It's hard to come to terms that I'll never have that. I'll never have all of my children in the same room. It's a devastating realization. We miss that little girl. I hope she is with us more than I can feel her. I hope my children know her and love her. I dream of the day when we will all be together