just what I needed

This is the dreaded week. The anniversary of Lila's death is tomorrow and I can feel that horrible grief monster that I usually keep chained away escaping and rising to the surface, scraping and tearing away at my heart. Tonight as I was putting Ruby to bed I told her that tomorrow I will be really sad. That lila left us on that day two years ago and that I really miss her. I started to cry and put my head down so I wouldn't scare her. I felt her little arms go around my neck and then her hands found my face and pushed my chin up so that I would look at her. She said "oh, mommy its gonna be ok." Then she hugged me and I felt like she was holding me up. " I miss lila too, mommy" These moments, they are perfect.