A year ago today......

A year ago today I held back sobs as Lila's ophthalmologist told me that she had bilateral cataracts. -I can't believe that it's only been a year. It seems like we have been "primary parents" all our lives, dealing with doctors, tests and illness.- Gone was the notion that I had a perfectly healthy and normal little girl. The days, weeks, month and year to follow continued to have more and more bad news. Never could I imagine at that moment just how horrible it was going to get. It was far worse than my worst nightmare. It seems like we haven't hit that bit of good news that our family is so desperately hoping for.
With learning to deal with constant mourning I am trying to focus on just how blessed I really am. Despite it all we are so blessed to have Lila. With each smile I am filled with gratitude that she has come to our home. I am so blessed to have Quinn. For the rock that he has been. For being the most compassionate, patient and loving man in the world. I couldn't believe that we could grow closer than we were but this has brought us even more together. I am grateful for wonderful family and for good friends, you quickly find out who your true friends are when going through something like this. Thank you to all who have reached out, I know I probably don't make it easy sometimes. And finally I am so grateful for the knowledge that my daughter will look at me one day and know that I am her mother and she will be able to show her little personality to me more fully, not in this life but in the one to come. I look forward for that moment.