Friday, October 14, 2011

A year ago today......

A year ago today I held back sobs as Lila's ophthalmologist told me that she had bilateral cataracts. -I can't believe that it's only been a year. It seems like we have been "primary parents" all our lives, dealing with doctors, tests and illness.- Gone was the notion that I had a perfectly healthy and normal little girl. The days, weeks, month and year to follow continued to have more and more bad news. Never could I imagine at that moment just how horrible it was going to get. It was far worse than my worst nightmare. It seems like we haven't hit that bit of good news that our family is so desperately hoping for.
With learning to deal with constant mourning I am trying to focus on just how blessed I really am. Despite it all we are so blessed to have Lila. With each smile I am filled with gratitude that she has come to our home. I am so blessed to have Quinn. For the rock that he has been. For being the most compassionate, patient and loving man in the world. I couldn't believe that we could grow closer than we were but this has brought us even more together. I am grateful for wonderful family and for good friends, you quickly find out who your true friends are when going through something like this. Thank you to all who have reached out, I know I probably don't make it easy sometimes. And finally I am so grateful for the knowledge that my daughter will look at me one day and know that I am her mother and she will be able to show her little personality to me more fully, not in this life but in the one to come. I look forward for that moment.

8 comments:

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Hugs to you today.

Kelli said...

Love you three!!

blythe said...

love seeing pictures that sweet lila girl. wish i could meet her and see you! love you.

Heidi said...

your family is always in my prayers, and I am constantly in awe of your courage and ability to have faith in devastating trials. Hugs

JanaB said...

Hi Kristi, I saw your Mom at the ward picnic when I was home from DC a month ago. You, Quinn, and Lila are in my prayers. Love you!- Jana

Lynn and Barbs said...

Kristie,
The last year has been such a roller coaster and continues. Our hearts are saddened at the lastest news about Lila. Even with all the heartaches, what a blessing this beautiful little angel girl is to your life. She is so blessed to have you and Quinn as parents. We continue to pray for you. Please know that we love you and we care.
Barbara

Dr. LaRisse Skene said...

I remember those cute little glasses. You guys have come a long way and I am so awed by your stregnth. Lila is a little drop of heaven for us all. Hugs Kristie.

amanda said...

i am so impressed. you are a beautiful family. thank you for being a help to others as well...you are inspiring with your faith and hope.