Lately I have been feeling a bit blue. I don't know if its the weather or because this holiday season is not what I pictured when I imagined having a toddler at Christmas. Either way I have lost sight of the meaning of this life. I know Heavenly Father gave me Lila to make me a better person but sometimes I would really like to be just mediocre. Just a normal person with normal kids. I wouldn't even mind if she was a bit naughty just if she could be alright. So today I got a reminder of what I need to aspire to.
A dear friend gave me a gift today and it touched me in more ways than one. We are in similar situations. We are both going to loose dear sweet baby girls, our little angels, and yet she is constantly lifting me up. Today she gave me the gift of having photos taken of little miss. I cannot tell you the value of Photos in my situation. Knowing I will have images of Lila after she is gone is amazingly comforting. Not only was this gift worth its weight in gold, it was a lovely reminder of what this life is about. Helping each other through this life and serving one another. She is definitely something to aspire to. She has a gift of helping others and knowing just what to do and say to make them feel better and strengthened. I hope someday I can be like her.
So while I don't know how she would feel about me using her name, since she is local and knows some of you,(I'm sure a few of you have guessed) I just want to say thank you! Thank you for being a true friend and for living in Holland with me!
3 comments:
What a great gift!! Seriously, she is an amazing woman and so are you!! I can't wait to see the pictures of Lila.
You both amaze me more than you know!
I don't know you, so forgive me for commenting. I came across your blog while researching seizures (abnormal EEGs) in children. And I could not help but to notice what a beautiful daughter you have. She is so stunningly beautiful. While I may not understand your pain, I do understand how painful it can be to think of loosing your beautiful child. God sent me 3 of the most beautiful children one could imagine and I love them all so very much. My second son was our only unplanned pregnancy. He was truly our gift from God, but he is not so well at the moment. And so I have been facing the fact that God might take him from me for a short time. In so doing, I have found that the most unusually dichotomy lies in that between the suffering which comes from the loss of someone so close and sacred to your heart and the peace which comes from having perfect faith in an all knowing, all powerful omnipotent Father. I never knew the two could live inside of you at the same time. But they can. Peace can still persevere, even when your pain seems all consuming. I can only say that I am grateful for the Atonement and for my Savior who willing laid his life down not only for my sins, but also for my sorrows. When it gets too hard for me, I remember the invitation to yoke myself with Christ that my burdens may be light. I invite you to do the same. Yoke yourself with a merciful God who if He will not take away your trial, will, in the very least, provide perspective. Good luck with Lila. Enjoy the time you have. It is a very precious gift.
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