I found this picture of Lila on my phone. I was again taken aback by her beauty. She was such a stunning little girl. Absolutely gorgeous. This picture was taken when she slept in my room one night when she was ill. It was just a regular day nothing special and yet I would give anything in the world to have that ordinary night again. To see her little chest rise and fall with breath. To smell her sweet scent and watch the shadows on her cheeks from her long lashes. I knew our time was short but I never thought it would end when it did. How I ache. My arms are desperate to hold this small body and my fingers itch to comb through her hair. I would do anything to hear that laugh and see those eyes search for mine. She is my baby. I should be tucking her in and whispering her stories about santa and magic not bringing ornaments to her grave. This hole in my chest is not leaving, nor I fear will it ever. I have to learn how to live with it, how to live without her. I'm not sure how I can.
I watch you as you're sleeping
so quietly you lay
and think of how I love you
more than words can say
I gently brush the hair
from your little face
and quietly say a prayer
thanking God for you today
As I tuck you in
sure to cover your tiny toes
I blink back a tear or two
and kiss you little nose
Quietly I whisper in your ear
goodnight my little one,
you're so precious and so dear
I love you bigger than the sun
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1 comment:
Kristi, I can't even imagine how large that hole feels. You are truly amazing and you are right, she Is gorgeous, there is no other word to describe all of her beauty.
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