Wednesday, July 2, 2014
I miss my baby tonight. I miss her every night but especially tonight as I sit on my porch and think of her approaching fourth birthday. It feels like my soul is burning and I'm screaming from the pain but no one can hear me. Everyone is walking past me without realizing that I feel like I might die. I look with pleading eyes. Can't someone stop this unimaginable pain?! And yet the world is unaware that I'm missing my heart. That a chunk was violently ripped out and the hole is still new. I try and pretend that my world is not shattered. Somehow I think this might help. But truly everyday is a trial. Everyday I have to remind myself to keep breathing. I still have to be a wife and mother.