Saturday, October 2, 2010
At Lila's two month appointment her doctor informed us that she is a bit behind. Something that is very normal for a nicu baby, sitting for weeks in a bed with little stimulation, but information that has sent me into a bit of a frenzy. Poor Lila she has a neurotic mom who has degrees in psychology and human development, who over analyzes everything and jumps to worst case scenarios and recalls every case study that may pertain to her. Thank goodness she has a very down to Earth father. So as I have spent a few tearful nights with Quinn talking about my two month old it dawned on me that this will never end. I will always be worrying about my baby. If it's not hitting this milestone or that, it will be social issues and behavior. As I was talking to my sister and mom about this later I made the conclusion that being a mom is the best thing in the entire world, but at some moments it down right stinks. My sister just smiled and said Welcome to motherhood as my mom added, it never ever ends. I think I may give myself a heart attack or maybe another ulcer.
Oh how I love this girl. Quinn has been so reassuring. As we talked about her, he made me realize that I need to enjoy the ride. I am worrying so much about the future that I am missing the present. So today as I was listening to conference I was flipping through pictures on my camera and just started to cry. Look how far we have come! This little lady has accomplished a lot in her short life. She started off not being able to breathe or eat without assistance and now she is this little gorgeous spirit in our home. I am so proud of her, and I know that whatever comes our way I will be so grateful to be her mom.