Feeling optimistic?

Since being a special needs mom I have found that I tend to avoid things like Parenting magazines, any activities for "normal" kids, Pinterest ideas, anything that I would be reading, doing or making If Lila was healthy. It's all been too painful. Getting ready for peanut I've gone back and forth between excitement and fear. Part of me truly can't believe we could have a healthy child. But the other day I was feeling optimistic and got a large measuring stick for peanut. I put Lila's measurements on it and was struck by a new wave of pain. She would be so tall!! She isn't a baby anymore. She's a little lady. Here is to Hoping that peanut will be able to stand against it.